kill em with kindness

Hiya! Bit of a different post today, I thought that today on this fabulous Friday, I would do a post all about kindness. Being kind to others and being kind to yourself. 

I don’t know about you but as a citizen in 2016 I have noticed that people seem very VERY self obsessed. I feel like the ‘self love’ trend that has been floating around has gone too far, to the point of narcissism. Now don’t get me wrong, this ‘trend’ has also bought about some really great changes to society. Women not being ashamed of themselves, people with disabilities and illnesses choosing to not care and put themselves out there etc.. all that goodness is great! But there is always 2 sides to every situation and I think that self love in a lot of cases is being turned into narcissism. The amount of times I’ve heard people say “I need to put myself first” in the last year is truly insane. For me at least I know, the idea of putting myself first feels wrong or against my natural nature, I don’t like the idea of putting myself above everyone else on the planet because why should I? I’m just like everyone else. Don’t get me wrong I totally understand the concept in small amounts, if I’m getting sick and everyone has invited me out I could technically ‘put myself first’ and not go in order to not get sick. In life in general though, the general everyday I really find it to be a strange concept. If you’re putting yourself first in every single situation realistically you’re going to end up putting others down and crushing your loved ones. Imagine if everyone only put themselves first, who would want to live in that world?! A world where it doesn’t matter what’s going on with everyone else because it’s all about mememememememe. “Sorry I can’t come into work today because I actually have other plans and need to put myself first” “Oh sorry I can’t mark your essays tonight because I need some me time.” “Sorry your brother died because surgery went on longer than my shift and y’know I had to put myself first.”

Would you want to live in a world like that? 

The main problem with the narcissistic side of ‘self love’ is that it negates kindness. Being kind is not weak, being kind doesn’t require you to become a monk and live a 100% pure life (also not possible but thats another topic) being kind is a combination of actions you do everyday that enrich OTHERS lives. Remember that word? OTHER y’know people besides MEMEMEMEMEME. I personally think that when having to make a decision, you shouldn’t just think about yourself because all of your actions have a domino affect on everyone around you. Of course of course there are exceptions, if you really are passionate about doing something everyone says you shouldn’t do, I am a believer in doing it and going for what you want…your dreams (icky statement I know but whatever). However this post isn’t about the gigantic choices that occur in your life, it’s about general day-to-day mindset and that is where kindness and thinking about others should really be a priority. 

Now if you think that I’m completely bashing the whole ‘self love’ thing we got going on, believe me I’m not. In fact I think kindness and yourself work hand-in-hand because you should be being kind to yourself as well as others. Since going to uni I hear it more and more, girls justifying their food choices, girls picking at their bodies; “My love handles are insane” “Ugh your hips are so much smaller than mine” “I want to be curvy” “I want to be skinny” “I ate so much yesterday so I’m just going to drink tea all day today” “If we hide the wrapper it doesn’t count” THESE ARE ALL VERSIONS OF THING IVE HEARD (AND SADLY SAID)…IT IS NOT OK! BE kind to yourself and stop comparing your body to hers. Stop assuming everyone sees these flaws in you because they don’t. There is a quote by Roald Dahl which says

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

Every single girl on this planet is beautiful and the best way to feel beautiful is to act in a beautiful way. Be kind, be passionate, change your negative thoughts into positive one, don’t bully yourself in your head. I once heard this I don’t know what to call it expression? thought? idk but – imagine your 6 year old self standing in front of you staring at you. Would you say all the horrid things you’ve thought about yourself to her? Well that 6 year old girl is still inside of you & she’s counting on you to protect her. Don’t bully yourself. Be kind. 

I don’t know if any of this really made sense and sorry if it’s a bit of a ramble but its something that’s been swirling around in my brain now for weeks and I felt like I had to write about it so there ya go! 

Talk to you soon

Xx

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